09.09.09

"Nothing can go wrong today," He comforted himself on his way to pick up Object. The car door screeched when she opened it and she gave him the look tacitly suggesting him to buy a new car. He had gotten that look every time Object opened that door but it did not bother him today. Nothing really mattered because he wanted today to be just perfect. He was trying his best to disguise his nervousness by acting cool but the sweaty forehead wasn’t helping. Object had a tendency to sense his nervousness from miles away. But she was oblivious today busy applying her makeup.

"So, where are we going?" she asked. "Somewhere special" he answered with a smile but did not make the eye contact. "mm.." she sighed and started to apply her mascara. Object’s habit of putting her makeup on while he was driving had always been distracting to him. He always had this strong urge to just stop the car and watch the precision of the process. The intimate look at her beauty! Her lipstick had a propensity to make him jealous. But today he had a better control over his desires. He drove comforted by the sweet smell of Object’s musk he loved so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He pulled the car into an empty lot of an isolated gallery where Object had never been. To his surprise she still didn't inquire about where she was taken. "Maybe she knows" He thought for a second feeling paranoid. It was unusual for Object to go along with surprise plans without taking at least thirteen shots in the guessing game. She loved it when she guessed right and felt defeated when she couldn’t. He would rather let her know of the plans ahead of time then to put her through this misery. He had a tendency to give up easy for Object but today was different; everything was falling just the way he hoped.

"Am I dressed appropriately?" She asked. He glanced at her and his heart melted. He wanted to shower her with his adornment of her and tell her how beautiful she looked in that elegant brown dress, how her skin looked even more vibrant covered in that silk and how the shade of her hair and her eyes seemed like the pieces of jewelry picked specially to complete the whole ensemble. Instead he smiled and said, "Perfect."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Look in Object’s eyes was to die for when the lights came on. She covered her face in disbelief. Her hair and dress flew with her when she spun all around the rotunda to see what he had put together. She danced around every little piece placed carefully just to entice her. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. While she was lost in the extravaganza of the expressions all around her, all he could think of was how close he was to the Object of his affection. The violin started just in time and he got on his knees with the humble symbol of their love in his hands.

It was the happiest dream he thought he deserved.

One More Hit

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Hit me one more time my friend ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ help me take the edge off ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~help me escape this brightness ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ these rays of light~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ are inciting me~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ they're inviting me ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ like the parasite~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ they're surrounding me~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Fool was I to fight the sun? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ not a sufi, yet I spun ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ but I failed to escape ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ my own reflection ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~the ugly mirror ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ stared right at me ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~laughed at me ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ I tried to run ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ but it followed me~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ So my tired soul let it prevail ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~tied the boat that couldn't sail ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ like a wounded soldier ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I lied there still ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ It took no time to conquer me ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ violating every thing ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~that mattered to me ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ in a million pieces ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ it shattered me ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I need you now like never before ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ don't you hear me knocking your door ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ today is the day I failed my creed ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ one more hit is all I need ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Close your eyes

Beauty isn't what you have seen,
O' Silly traveler, where have you been?
Heart is where the love resides,

Close your eyes and look within.

.

.

.

Original drawning by Om with black & white charcoal. Image is digitally edited in Picassa.

Wedding Day

For my dearest friends Sameer and Rosie

Put on the Kajal with a hint of gray
Paint my hands with Mehandi today
Bindya, Chooriyan and Saari to wear
I want to look my best today

I waited for this moment night and day
My wait will finally be over today
Cliffs will bow and birds will pray
A new chapter of love will begin today

A summer breeze will gently spray
Marking the arrival of my beloved today
Barriers will drop and joys will make way
I will be one with my love today

Stars and moon have a reason to stay
All the enchanting bodies are invited today
Roses and lilies in your finest array
Come dance with me on my wedding day

R.E.C

REC Commercial - written by TriCities REC 11th grade students

Please click her for the Video
PASSWORD: REC

Ever been asked
Why you believe, what you believe?
If your society has grown from its past?
What you do on Saturday mornings?

Look Beyond
Look Within

We are
Ismailis
Day by Day
Week by Week
We have evolved
We have learned
We have benefited

For three hours
Every week
We're here
Building our success
Person by person
One
by
One

You wonder
What good is this for us?
Come find out

R
E
C

Tainted

I will let you have
the part of me
the part that isn't
any good to me

I will let you keep
the memories
hoping it will
set me free

The picture of us
for you I painted
doesn't reflect my heart
the heart that is tainted

Merry you may call it
but it would be a lie
the artist may contain
but the canvas will cry

Clog Blog

I tried tonight... but couldn't write. It's not the pen... think it's the brain. Lacking the sensation... an inspiration. I need a notion... or may be a potion. Looking around... but nothing could be found. Thoughts are shut... stuck in a rut. Desperate attempts to rhyme... which should be a crime. It sounds tame... and mostly lame. So its time to clog.. this utterly mindless blog.

First night of June

We begin to recite a poem
on the first night of June
The sky filled with stars
but no sign of moon

The heart begins to throb
and pulse becomes fierce
We speak the words with passion
We speak the words with tears

Tears find an eternal refuge
and the pulse quickly fails
She hits the notes of desire
my voice becomes too frail

Her words, metaphor of beauty
my words, nothing but hollow
then her lips start to sing
and mine fail to follow

Your Hands

Your hands tell the tale of
the meeting of two pure hearts,
they know of the nights spent
under the moonlit stars,
wavering and weeping, softly
they whisper into my ears.
Your hands tell the tale
of the spring and the fall,
the seasons of love and lost
they witnessed them all.
Your hands open the gates
that were never shut,
they reached into my heart
and began to strike the strings,
playing the notes of thunder
tenderly at first, rising slowly
it spoke of the raindrops
that witnessed our love
pouring on your skin
cleansing itself.
Your hands spark the fire
intensifying my rage
like the angels ballerina
the flames began to dance
flowing with the sound of thunder
burning my soul…

Your hands, sweet hands,
they tell a tale...

There's a flaw (part ii)

There's a flaw (part i)

"I feel like Kate Winslet from Titanic." She said while standing at the edge of the boat.
"Watch out for the iceberg Rose." I said jokingly

This quest of finding "true happiness" has challenged me to define the way one should live. It seems obvious that we all aspire to live the good life, although people differ in opinion as to what it is. It often gets associated to possessing money and goods. I have yet to find a flaw in one enjoying the fruits of his own honest efforts and strive to attain comfortable living for himself. But if that's the good life then where do we place the existence that helps others, true friendship, love, service, giving, character, growth, and spirituality? If the goal is to attain happiness, should we be prepared to sacrifice? And if it leads to our own happiness, then is it really considered a sacrifice?

"If I were to drown, would you come for my rescue?" she asked
"without a doubt." I quickly responded

I had already ruled out the path of attaining true happiness ever meeting the path of satisfying our own material desires. But I can't ignore the role of these desires in living the good life. The notion of reaching for bigger and better seems to be a popular goal in life. If this gets associated with accumulation of wealth, then by simple mathematical formula, the standards will continue to increase unless we fall into the Great Depression again. I can't help but blame the society for doing it's best to raise these standards and continue to feed our desires.

Hellen Keller says: "Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."

I don't know how to swim.

This blog is inspired by the song Society by Eddie Vedder from the motion picture soundtrack of Into the Wild.

4 am...

Eyes are dazed and head is turning... body is shut but the heart is running... the clock keeps ticking ... tick tock tick tock... why is it so loud? I wish it would stop... I am feeling thirsty and my mouth is dry... it'd be easy if I could only cry... drank some water and tried to pray... forgive me God, if I went astray... spare my soul and end this war... why won't slumber knock my door?

Perspective (A Short Film)

Camera queues in red
Audio queues and narrations in blue (narration italicized)

Opens with the closeup shot of 'A Camera Lens'
Next shot: the view of the students in lecture hall from teacher's angle
Sound of Professor walking in from behind the camera
(professor is not visible to the camera)

Professor starts to teach: "Let's take a look at Phaedo"

Camera slowly focuses on students randomly stopping for few seconds while student's thoughts are narrated

David: I still feel sore from the workout...

(Professor's voice indistinct)

Cati: If only I could understand Plato...

(Professor's voice indistinct)

Ryanne: I should knit a sweater for mom...

(Professor's voice indistinct)

Julianna: I've got to catch up on my reading...

(Professor's voice indistinct)

Gayle: Hmm.. he's got a point...

(Professor's voice disappears)

(Complete silence for 2 seconds)

Cameraman's hand becomes visible holding a gun

Sound effect of a loud Gunshot!

Camera drops to the floor

Upside down shot of the white board that says:

"Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?"

For the students of NIU, Virginia tech, Columbine and several other schools who got victimized by deadly shootings. May the souls of those who died, rest in peace and may God bless the families and friends with courage to deal with their loss.

Absent Ornament

Is it ok to ignore
the mistakes you say I made
Is it ok to care
for the dreams we shared

You ask me why I try to win
you ask me why I dare
If you care to look for an answer
You'll find it in the way you stare

Your silence gives it away
and your tears make it clear
warning of the moment to come
it's the moment that I fear

and so I sit here
thinking....

is it ok to care
for the one who was never there?

Om is listening to Belle and Sebastian

Stop n' Go

I gave her a hug, thinking this might be the last time I'll have her in my arms, grabbed my bags and stood there until I could no longer see her car.

It was a wrong terminal, wrong airline or maybe the wrong time. I passed out in the waiting room, my first nap in past 48 hours. I was then chased by an ax murderer in my dream, she looked much like the lady behind the check-in counter of a local museum. I started running. I ran past a dripping chocolate fountain, a torn down mummy, a magician with an annoying laugh and a Jazz concert. Too late for the band's opening performance, but made it right on time for a big (relatively speaking) surprise, when a hefty boy professed his love for his girlfriend and asked her to marry him. I started running again when the wedding proposal was followed by a loose dog announcement by the Jazz master.

"Would you like something to drink", asked the blond hair lady with long legs, petite body and straight posture. I expected the ax murderer but she had given up long ago. Before I could answer her, I tried to contemplate how I ended up in the airplane from the waiting room? It's often difficult for me to differentiate reality from dreams. I prefer dreams over reality but I also recognize that reality is the only place to get good food. Failing to make sense of the situation I ignored it all together and closed my eyes again. I think she got the point and moved on.

I decided to run back. The Jazz played, the magician laughed and the fountain dripped. And this time, I saw it all in her eyes. "It is 65 degrees in Chicago", the pilot announced. I looked out the window, and thought "Wow, It looks so much like google earth, just less interactive."

Om enjoys the ambiance of The Melting Pot

Shhh..

Eyes, wide shut
last call from tavern, missed
but the wine drips

Come, she says.

Glasses, misty
rain sneaks in, heavy
vigil jitters

Breathe, she says.

Muted, beautiful,
naive chalice, shattered
desired but unwelcome

Drink, she says.

Aroma, faint
indistinct moan, deceitful
begins to utter

Shhhh, She says.

There's a flaw

"How far will you go?" she asked.
"Until I get a Nobel Prize" I said.
She chuckled.

I continue to search for understanding "true happiness". I have observed the notion of satisfying one's own desires to attain comfort; I have also observed this notion continue to fail. There's a flaw. I have found that since one's own desires will, without fail conflict with others, so satisfying one's own needs invariably inflicts suffering on others. Do we enjoy the suffering of others? I am starting to believe that the path of satisfying our own desires might never meet the path of attaining true happiness.

"I'll take the filet mignon" she said to the waiter. "Medium well please" she added.
"I'll have the same" I said.
She squinted.

It still seems unreasonable to give up all our desires, as it would be an economical disaster. So material development stays and so does satisfying our basic needs, but expecting to attain true happiness through it all seems unreasonable. Practicing patience, care and compassion while we pursue our desires might be the only way to keep us from causing pain and suffering to others.

Dalai Lama says: "I sometimes find it helpful to imagine myself standing as a single individual on one side, facing a huge gathering of all other human beings on the other side. Then I ask myself, 'Whose interests are more important?' To me it is quite clear that however important I may feel I am, I am just one individual while others are infinite in number and importance".

I forgot to tip.

Om can't get enough of Dalai Lama

Timmy's new plan

*ring ring*

"Timmy"
Baker: Hello?
"Timmy"
Yeah, Mr. president.... that war in Iraq... yeah... umm not a good idea.
"Timmy"

Hamilton: Hello?
"Timmy"
Mr President, I don't think you understand. Those troops you sent.... yeah, don't think you should've done that.
"Timmy"

Reid: Hello?
"Timmy"
Sir, yeah... i don't think Dems are gonna be behind you with this whole more troops business
"Timmy"

Nancy: Hello?
"Timmy"
No Sir, it isn't happening. I strongly oppose it. It hasn't worked before and it won't work now.
"Timmy"

Duncan: Hello?
"Timmy"

umm I am afraid, it's a negative from some of us Repubs too.
"Timmy"

Cheney: "Timmy"
"Timmy"
"Timmy"
"Timmy"
"Livin a lie"
"Timmy"
"Timmy"

Merry Prisoner

Whispers... fidgety... sweating bullets
sluggish... dazed... more whispers
Tears... dejection... blues
and then... a smile!

Is it something I said?
Or something I held back?
Is there a sign you seek?
or is there something I lack?

Must I weep to make you believe?
or should i break to make you conceive?

The roaring sea around me,
Is it not of tears?
These gloomy dark clouds that you see,
Are they not my fears?

In this circus of emotions,
I am a slave to my handicap.
Imprissoned in the cage of desire,
struggling to reach your hand,
But you're blinded by the marquee,
and I am too weak to be unchained.

L.B.D

Silence of the night
creeping inside of me
why does everything seem still
why doesn't anyone speak

Why all these people
yet it seems hollow
I can see the gushy lips
but can't seem to follow

Oh what a shouting beauty
and everything else appears placid

Oh what a stinging sensation
and the rest feels numb

Oh what a staunch desire
against the torpid ego

Is it the moon
Or that little black dress.

Broken Ornament (12/24/xx)

I had been there before but today was different. That ugly piece of beautiful lying naked on top of me. "Where will this go", I asked and he smiled. He pinned me down gently and bit my lower lip then whispered something in my ear. I couldn't make out of what he said but I knew it was a tacit suggestion to lie still. I could feel the cold wind piercing out of the broken glass of the window. I tried to look out but it was obstructed by an old austere Christmas tree covered with tacky ornaments. Some cracked, some stained and rusty. I studied the tree carefully hoping to find one fine ornament and I did. It was beautiful, well burnished, white and luminous. Hanging on the edge of an anemic branch. I was afraid it was going to fall. I felt a heavy breeze and the fortiuitous ornament landed on a dirty santa doll supported by yet another anemic branch. My teary eyes were pierced on the beautiful ornament. I didn't want it to break. I lied still and there it came. Another breeze.

Om supports RAINN