Health Care

Lil Jony climed up the whata tank to get his mama's urrings that his daddy threw up there. I tole lil Jony not to get up der, i says the urrings were spesial but not as spesial as lil  Jony. But lil Jony din lisen. He says I wanna make my mama proud and up he went climin that darn whata tank. Lil Jony doesun like warin the shoe I got em on his birfday. They slow me down mama he sayz. So lil Jony was climin up with no shoe on. He climed all the way up and saw a bird nest up there. He musta scurred the bird away cuz it flew and it scurred lil Jony too and down he fell from the top of the whatta tank. I ran to my lil Jony and saw him lien on the flo with blood ova his clofes. Some nice man of God called the 911 and they put lil Jony in an ambulance. I tried talkin to lil Jony, i sayz wake up lil Jony I tole you not to clime that darn whata tank, them urrings were not as spesial as you lil Jony. But lil Jony din say a word. They took him in the emergency room and I tole the doctor how lil Jony climed up the whata tank to get my urrings with no shoe on. I tole the doctor how I tole lil Jony not to clime up there with no shoe on but lil Jony dint lisen. He wanted to make her mama proud I says to the doctor. The doctor seem nice and he fix my Lil Jony and gave him the wheel chair to sit on. Lil Jony doesun like the wheel chair but he says he likes how fast he can go withit.

"Maa'm all I need to know is how do you plan to pay this bill?"

Oh yah, after the doctor wuz dun with lil Jony, I went up to him. He was lien in the bed and when he saw me he sayz mama look what I got for you. Lil Jony opened his hand and he had my urrings. I cried and say to him, I am proud of you lil Jony. I took those urrings to Mr. Grubbs up at the pawn store. Mr Grubbs is a grumpy ole man but he sayz it wurth enuf to make a few paymens on lil Jonys wheel chair.

Timmy's new plan

*ring ring*

"Timmy"
Baker: Hello?
"Timmy"
Yeah, Mr. president.... that war in Iraq... yeah... umm not a good idea.
"Timmy"

Hamilton: Hello?
"Timmy"
Mr President, I don't think you understand. Those troops you sent.... yeah, don't think you should've done that.
"Timmy"

Reid: Hello?
"Timmy"
Sir, yeah... i don't think Dems are gonna be behind you with this whole more troops business
"Timmy"

Nancy: Hello?
"Timmy"
No Sir, it isn't happening. I strongly oppose it. It hasn't worked before and it won't work now.
"Timmy"

Duncan: Hello?
"Timmy"

umm I am afraid, it's a negative from some of us Repubs too.
"Timmy"

Cheney: "Timmy"
"Timmy"
"Timmy"
"Timmy"
"Livin a lie"
"Timmy"
"Timmy"

Oops I did it again

I can't help but notice that there's a striking similarity in the careers of Bush and Britney

Bush faced a major challenge when America came under terrorist attack on 9/11.

Poor Britney got dumped by a n'stink heartthrob and cried him a river.

Bush decided to go after Iraq in search of WMDs.

Britney went in search for true love.

Bush didn't find WMDs but he got Saddam.

Britney got intoxicated and found true love in a self acclaimed rappist K-Fed.

This is when America started praying for our beloved Britney and Bush.

Brtiney popped out a baby to prove her true love - America prayed more.

Bush used establishing democracy in Iraq to cover the WMD blunber and sent more troops.

Britney said to hit her one more time and popped out one more baby.

Bush got pressured by the rest of the world, he decided to send more troops.

They both came to a point where there was a decission to be made. Several commisions, Experts, world leaders and even advisors suggested that going into Iraq might have been a mistake. But we're still seeing our beloved Bush with that same smile on his face stating: "Whether you're with us or against us", who is this "us" are we referring to? 38% of Americans? What does it take to admit that there's a boo boo that has been made? How about an apology? It's maddening that there's no cost of being wrong, even if it translates to thousands of people dead and billions of dollars down the drain.

Well Atleast our Britney realized what she had done and left K-Fed. Let's see what our presidents next move is? Let me guess. more troops?

Bomb Shelter

So I got this toy for Jack, right? and then Jill was like "I wanna play with it" and I was like, let Jack play with it for now. So Jill gets all mad and throws a rocket at Jack. I mean not a real rocket, one of those foamy thingies, you know what I mean?. So Jack gets all mad and then he throws that rocket thingy back at Jill. And while they're fighting over it my girlfriend Jane walks in and goes, "Aren't you gonna stop them" and I was like, "well, Jack wants to play with his toy but Jill keeps throwing that rocket on Jack so Jack's gotta do something about it. right?" and Jane was like: "But if they keep on fighting then they might get hurt" and I was like: "oh well, I'll let them work it out".