Christmas Ornament

I met some phenomenal people this Christmas Eve and just when I thought it could not get any better, I ran into Byronn Davis. 4 years ago, Byronn was hit by a drunk driver while he was helping a complete stranger fix his car on the side of the road. Byronn moved his friend out of the way when the drunk driver drove towards them but did not have much time to save himself. Byronn lost both his legs in that accident.

Byronn is a father of a 4 year old girl who was just 3 months at the time of the accident, and a 12 year old boy. He is also a caregiver of two more children who are currently attending college. He was a maintenance man by profession but since the accident he has chosen a different path to serve people.


Photo taken by OM on December 25, 2009 at Hyatt Regency Hotel
in Dallas Downtown during Christmas Angel Project conducted by 
SoupMobile

Byronn speaks to groups of convicted drunk drivers and advises them to do the right thing. He also works at the SoupMobile helping provide food and shelter to many homeless people in Dallas area. Emory Ross was the man behind the wheel in that accident but Byronn has nothing but prayers for him. Byronn has since forgiven Emory Ross and requested court to decrease his sentence. During the hours of conversing with Byronn, I did not sense any negativity from him. He constantly thanked God for showing him the way and making him capable of the things he does. 

Thank you Byronn for sharing your story with me!

Check out Byronn's Video Interview and Story covered by Dallas Morning News back in April of 2007

09.09.09

"Nothing can go wrong today," He comforted himself on his way to pick up Object. The car door screeched when she opened it and she gave him the look tacitly suggesting him to buy a new car. He had gotten that look every time Object opened that door but it did not bother him today. Nothing really mattered because he wanted today to be just perfect. He was trying his best to disguise his nervousness by acting cool but the sweaty forehead wasn’t helping. Object had a tendency to sense his nervousness from miles away. But she was oblivious today busy applying her makeup.

"So, where are we going?" she asked. "Somewhere special" he answered with a smile but did not make the eye contact. "mm.." she sighed and started to apply her mascara. Object’s habit of putting her makeup on while he was driving had always been distracting to him. He always had this strong urge to just stop the car and watch the precision of the process. The intimate look at her beauty! Her lipstick had a propensity to make him jealous. But today he had a better control over his desires. He drove comforted by the sweet smell of Object’s musk he loved so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He pulled the car into an empty lot of an isolated gallery where Object had never been. To his surprise she still didn't inquire about where she was taken. "Maybe she knows" He thought for a second feeling paranoid. It was unusual for Object to go along with surprise plans without taking at least thirteen shots in the guessing game. She loved it when she guessed right and felt defeated when she couldn’t. He would rather let her know of the plans ahead of time then to put her through this misery. He had a tendency to give up easy for Object but today was different; everything was falling just the way he hoped.

"Am I dressed appropriately?" She asked. He glanced at her and his heart melted. He wanted to shower her with his adornment of her and tell her how beautiful she looked in that elegant brown dress, how her skin looked even more vibrant covered in that silk and how the shade of her hair and her eyes seemed like the pieces of jewelry picked specially to complete the whole ensemble. Instead he smiled and said, "Perfect."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Look in Object’s eyes was to die for when the lights came on. She covered her face in disbelief. Her hair and dress flew with her when she spun all around the rotunda to see what he had put together. She danced around every little piece placed carefully just to entice her. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her. While she was lost in the extravaganza of the expressions all around her, all he could think of was how close he was to the Object of his affection. The violin started just in time and he got on his knees with the humble symbol of their love in his hands.

It was the happiest dream he thought he deserved.

Close your eyes

Beauty isn't what you have seen,
O' Silly traveler, where have you been?
Heart is where the love resides,

Close your eyes and look within.

.

.

.

Original drawning by Om with black & white charcoal. Image is digitally edited in Picassa.

Wedding Day

For my dearest friends Sameer and Rosie

Put on the Kajal with a hint of gray
Paint my hands with Mehandi today
Bindya, Chooriyan and Saari to wear
I want to look my best today

I waited for this moment night and day
My wait will finally be over today
Cliffs will bow and birds will pray
A new chapter of love will begin today

A summer breeze will gently spray
Marking the arrival of my beloved today
Barriers will drop and joys will make way
I will be one with my love today

Stars and moon have a reason to stay
All the enchanting bodies are invited today
Roses and lilies in your finest array
Come dance with me on my wedding day

R.E.C

REC Commercial - written by TriCities REC 11th grade students

Please click her for the Video
PASSWORD: REC

Ever been asked
Why you believe, what you believe?
If your society has grown from its past?
What you do on Saturday mornings?

Look Beyond
Look Within

We are
Ismailis
Day by Day
Week by Week
We have evolved
We have learned
We have benefited

For three hours
Every week
We're here
Building our success
Person by person
One
by
One

You wonder
What good is this for us?
Come find out

R
E
C

There's a flaw (part ii)

There's a flaw (part i)

"I feel like Kate Winslet from Titanic." She said while standing at the edge of the boat.
"Watch out for the iceberg Rose." I said jokingly

This quest of finding "true happiness" has challenged me to define the way one should live. It seems obvious that we all aspire to live the good life, although people differ in opinion as to what it is. It often gets associated to possessing money and goods. I have yet to find a flaw in one enjoying the fruits of his own honest efforts and strive to attain comfortable living for himself. But if that's the good life then where do we place the existence that helps others, true friendship, love, service, giving, character, growth, and spirituality? If the goal is to attain happiness, should we be prepared to sacrifice? And if it leads to our own happiness, then is it really considered a sacrifice?

"If I were to drown, would you come for my rescue?" she asked
"without a doubt." I quickly responded

I had already ruled out the path of attaining true happiness ever meeting the path of satisfying our own material desires. But I can't ignore the role of these desires in living the good life. The notion of reaching for bigger and better seems to be a popular goal in life. If this gets associated with accumulation of wealth, then by simple mathematical formula, the standards will continue to increase unless we fall into the Great Depression again. I can't help but blame the society for doing it's best to raise these standards and continue to feed our desires.

Hellen Keller says: "Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."

I don't know how to swim.

This blog is inspired by the song Society by Eddie Vedder from the motion picture soundtrack of Into the Wild.

Absent Ornament

Is it ok to ignore
the mistakes you say I made
Is it ok to care
for the dreams we shared

You ask me why I try to win
you ask me why I dare
If you care to look for an answer
You'll find it in the way you stare

Your silence gives it away
and your tears make it clear
warning of the moment to come
it's the moment that I fear

and so I sit here
thinking....

is it ok to care
for the one who was never there?

Om is listening to Belle and Sebastian

Stop n' Go

I gave her a hug, thinking this might be the last time I'll have her in my arms, grabbed my bags and stood there until I could no longer see her car.

It was a wrong terminal, wrong airline or maybe the wrong time. I passed out in the waiting room, my first nap in past 48 hours. I was then chased by an ax murderer in my dream, she looked much like the lady behind the check-in counter of a local museum. I started running. I ran past a dripping chocolate fountain, a torn down mummy, a magician with an annoying laugh and a Jazz concert. Too late for the band's opening performance, but made it right on time for a big (relatively speaking) surprise, when a hefty boy professed his love for his girlfriend and asked her to marry him. I started running again when the wedding proposal was followed by a loose dog announcement by the Jazz master.

"Would you like something to drink", asked the blond hair lady with long legs, petite body and straight posture. I expected the ax murderer but she had given up long ago. Before I could answer her, I tried to contemplate how I ended up in the airplane from the waiting room? It's often difficult for me to differentiate reality from dreams. I prefer dreams over reality but I also recognize that reality is the only place to get good food. Failing to make sense of the situation I ignored it all together and closed my eyes again. I think she got the point and moved on.

I decided to run back. The Jazz played, the magician laughed and the fountain dripped. And this time, I saw it all in her eyes. "It is 65 degrees in Chicago", the pilot announced. I looked out the window, and thought "Wow, It looks so much like google earth, just less interactive."

Om enjoys the ambiance of The Melting Pot

There's a flaw

"How far will you go?" she asked.
"Until I get a Nobel Prize" I said.
She chuckled.

I continue to search for understanding "true happiness". I have observed the notion of satisfying one's own desires to attain comfort; I have also observed this notion continue to fail. There's a flaw. I have found that since one's own desires will, without fail conflict with others, so satisfying one's own needs invariably inflicts suffering on others. Do we enjoy the suffering of others? I am starting to believe that the path of satisfying our own desires might never meet the path of attaining true happiness.

"I'll take the filet mignon" she said to the waiter. "Medium well please" she added.
"I'll have the same" I said.
She squinted.

It still seems unreasonable to give up all our desires, as it would be an economical disaster. So material development stays and so does satisfying our basic needs, but expecting to attain true happiness through it all seems unreasonable. Practicing patience, care and compassion while we pursue our desires might be the only way to keep us from causing pain and suffering to others.

Dalai Lama says: "I sometimes find it helpful to imagine myself standing as a single individual on one side, facing a huge gathering of all other human beings on the other side. Then I ask myself, 'Whose interests are more important?' To me it is quite clear that however important I may feel I am, I am just one individual while others are infinite in number and importance".

I forgot to tip.

Om can't get enough of Dalai Lama

Broken Ornament (12/24/xx)

I had been there before but today was different. That ugly piece of beautiful lying naked on top of me. "Where will this go", I asked and he smiled. He pinned me down gently and bit my lower lip then whispered something in my ear. I couldn't make out of what he said but I knew it was a tacit suggestion to lie still. I could feel the cold wind piercing out of the broken glass of the window. I tried to look out but it was obstructed by an old austere Christmas tree covered with tacky ornaments. Some cracked, some stained and rusty. I studied the tree carefully hoping to find one fine ornament and I did. It was beautiful, well burnished, white and luminous. Hanging on the edge of an anemic branch. I was afraid it was going to fall. I felt a heavy breeze and the fortiuitous ornament landed on a dirty santa doll supported by yet another anemic branch. My teary eyes were pierced on the beautiful ornament. I didn't want it to break. I lied still and there it came. Another breeze.

Om supports RAINN

Fear of Rejection

I think it worked tonight. I played all my cards right. This dude is trapped. He's not going to sleep tonight, that I am sure of. I know exactly how it's going to play out. He's going to walk into that fancy Brazilian restaurant, probably wearing his favorite black sweater. He's going to forget to smile at first, something he does when he's nervous. Then he'll start out by asking how I'm doing, followed by a compliment and some small talk. He will look around occasionally to catch his breath but I'll keep a constant stare at him to make him a little more uncomfortable. Somewhere in the midst of dinner he will work up the courage to tell me, he will first wipe the sweat off his forehead and then maybe prolong the question with some sort of disclaimer and then it will come. His face will start blushing starting from his ears; He'll try to make some subtle physical contact but will himself shy away. I'll look directly at him and keep a straight face the entire time. He'll pop the question and boom, I'll shoot him down aiming straight for his heart. I have great aim. He waited too long.

I think it's my cue to act. Oh, I can't sleep tonight. It's making me nervous. How am I going to do this? Oh come on, it can't be that difficult. I'll put on something nice, maybe my black sweater. It makes me look thin. I'll walk into the Brazilian restaurant, greet her with a smile, act cool and ask her about her day. Compliments come naturally when I see her, so that will carry the conversation. I'll look around to familiarize myself with the space around us, try to capture the moment. Oh, I hope she's not too attentive, her eyes make me nervous. I will then reach for her hands and calmly ask her what I have been longing for. Oh, who am I kidding? She’ll probably shoot me down and break my heart. It's probably not the right time. Maybe I should wait a little longer.

Om liked the story telling in Melinda and Melinda

What is she talking about?

Love brings pain so if you want to avoid pain, you should avoid Love. But it's painful not to be loved. Which means you'll be in pain regardless of love or not. But if you want to be happy you're gonna have to love which means to be happy you'll have to experience pain. But then again pain makes you unhappy. Does that mean love makes you unhappy? If so, then to avoid this pain you must not love but if you want to be happy you might have to live with pain. Wait a minute, is this a trap?

Om enjoyed watching Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

Rest in peace

The night was blue, not because of hard day at work, not because those stupid Indian soaps that were pissing me off and not even after an argument with Object. Nothing managed to shake off a thought of a dear friend so close to loosing a loved one. I kept thinking how he must have been sitting on that orange chair recalling every sweet moment that he spent with his loved one his entire life. Slumber somehow caught up to me until my phone rang in the middle of the night, which I wish, was a bad dream but it wasn’t.

The morning was gloomy, everything felt worthless. I started to recall the marriage proposal I witnessed last evening, I remember feeling so happy for the couple and until last evening I was only imagining how beautiful it is to be able to commit to someone for rest of your life. But this morning “rest of your life” didn’t seem enough. How limited is this lifetime?

I was terrified. It wasn’t just feeling for a friend anymore at the funeral. Now is when my selfish instincts started kicking in. I pictured myself standing at his position, I was stunned, and I kept asking myself if I could ever have courage to face this? How much of my parent’s life have I missed already and how much more is left for me to catch on to? Would I ever be able to collect more memories? And if I do, wouldn’t it make it more difficult? Should I be worried about how difficult it would be for me to part or should I be worried about providing whatever it is that I can to my loved ones before its time so there are less regrets? I look up again and this time there’s a kid playing with the puddle of mud on the side unaware of what is happening around him. I wanted to be that kid!

Ornaments that fell (in love)

"Ofcourse I am. I have felt that tingly feeling in my heart several times before", I said in response to object's analysis of my incapability of ever falling in love or expressing my emotions. She nodded with a smile and I got out of the car. I had to replay the whole conversation in my mind before going to bed which made me think back and remember all the times I felt butterflies for someone.

Surely, object was wrong it all started in the elementary school where I remember standing up to this bully who was trying to take her lunch money.

I remember the time in middle school when I sold all my cds to my friend to buy that necklace for her, hell I even remember imitating this lover from some cheesy Indian movie and wrote a letter with my blood when she decided to never see me again.

What about that time when I would stay up and talk to her all night long and sometimes she would fall asleep but I would stay on the phone just to hear her breathe.

I remember the bet with my friends to jump off the balcony if I truly loved her which I fearlessly did and ended up in the hospital. All the pain was worth when she brought me flowers and kissed my forehead.

I remember the letters, the greeting cards, that box full of her little gifts. I remember the day dreaming, those subtle eye contacts and those fights over small things that ended up with a trail of I love yous.

Wait a minute. That wasn't me was it? It was those damn ornaments. I guess object is right once again.

So she says...

Poor soul I see,
searching for something.

"What is it that I am searching for?",
she asks.

She asks her pals,
who say it all with their eyes.

So she turns to the mirror,
that glances back at her with confusion.

So she turns to me,
I lack the answer.

So she turns to her soul,
that direct her to God.

So she asks her God,
and then only she finds...

"The perfection?",
"The truth?",
"The satisfaction",
I ask.

"The search",
She says.

Om highly recommends Conference of the Birds

Back from C-Poy

Now I got that feeling once again.
I can't explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
(Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd, song that was playing before the first lecture)

For the sake of keeping the conversation going she asks: "Have you ever had an experience that changed your life forever?". I have heard this one before and this question never fails to make me glance back to all that I can remember about my past life in 15 seconds. I don't have just one, I got several of them and they all jump up my memory lane all at once and make their way to the tip of my tongue but don't quiet make it out. "She doesn't really care to hear" beats them to it and then I come up with some stupid meaningless trip that I may or may not have taken in past filled with imaginary details about how beautiful the scenery was mixed with the dream I had the night before to add the adventure. Drive back home after such instances are quiet interesting because I enjoy talking to myself about my life changing experiences.

The trip to the Cpoy land was everything I hoped for. It was 2 weeks filled with exhaustion, sleep deprivation and tons of reading. But it was all worth gaining what it had to offer. I met some truly wonderful people who inspired me to reach for my goals. Also, I felt honored to be in a company of great teachers who made it to "my most influential teachers" list. And to add to that I made some wonderful new friends and ofcourse the object.

Thanks Cpoy for the next time she asks about my experience, you'll be sure to make it to the tip of my tongue and might even further if she deserves it.

Thanks Ali

Thanks for the post Ali.

http://aligreinvented.blogspot.com/2006/07/on-request-of-friend-passage.html#links

Exclusive right to "Truth"

Message of my class over the weekend was "Let there be no compulsion in religion" and I made sure to drill this in all my student's heads very well. I must admit, lots of what I teach my kids is not something I have known for a long time either, I learn as I go. And it's the best feeling in the world to know that your personal belief matches your religious belief.

I asked my kids if they thought our religion believed in "Exlusivism" and most of them confidently said yes. I don't blame them, ofcourse they think that they've got an eclusive right on Truth because they haven't been told otherwise. Then I brought in the idea of "Inclusivism" and all of the sudden they felt more comfortable thinking that this makes more sense and again majority agreed on the idea of inclusivism. And then I introduced to them the idea of "Pluralism" and I gotta admit that I felt a little discomfort and even disappointment from the class when it was revealed to them that No, they don't have an exlusive right to "The Truth" if there's such a thing.

I don't know if the disappointment was because they lost what they thought they had or because their personal belief didn't match with their religious belief. Either way, I am honored to be a part of their journey to self discovery.

Om like the Islamic blog site Islamicate

When I woke up..

After a night filled with music from Pixies, I went to bed knowing it would be difficult to wake up in an hour but my extreme exhaustion and my strong faith to be able to wake myself up was convincing enough. My faith didn't let me down, I did wake up. Several times. First it was at the Airport for the farewell of a friend. Next to say my goodbye to the favorites. Then at the international house of pancakes. Then outside of a country store sweating like a pig. Next time I found myself in a prison, not a prison but a replica in a prison museum. I woke up again in a shower this time to freshen up just so I can go to sleep without having to wake up again. My sleep was filled with a beautiful lie.

Om likes the Pixies

Escape

Morning drive, hands down is the high point of my day everyday. Being in my car for over an hour in the morning feels like being in a twilight zone, where I am unaware of anything outside of that piece of metal and glass. I have driven down those roads so much that I need not to pay attention to signs, signals and traffic. My radio usually jumps between BBC news channel, morning show with Rod Ryan, local news and weather channel and a cd of my choice. While lost in those radio waves and the thoughts of my own, nothing can touch me, not the guy flicking at me for cutting him off, not the minor accident that is backing everyone up, and not even the slow drivers in the left most lane. Sometime those lame games like "make yo mama curse" make me crack up, that old song "Last Kiss" by pearl jam almost gives me teary eyes, hearing about poverty in Africa and riots in Kashmir rages me. But all these emotions take me away from me. I have everything on mind except for "my life" and that escape I figured is what I enjoy the most. I can't do that in any other part of my day.

Om listens to NPR